Rich Burlew's Order of the Stick: http://www.giantitp.com/cgi-bin/GiantITP/ootscript?SK=253
This one is very funny. Harry Potter jokes and what have you.
12.06.2005
11.20.2005
Chapter 2: A Dragon's Penance
Turns out the lizardfolk ruthlessly slain by the brave adventurers were close personal friends of a young copper dragon. Demanding the adventurers account for their actions, Finkus (the name the dragon gave as his own) challenges them to solve riddles, provide a lunch of large scorpion stingers, repay the bounty they earned for "taking care of the lizardfolk problem", and finally killing the true culprit, a rock-tottin hill giant. Woller the Bastard and Maril the cleric both fell during the fight with the giant, but were reincarnated by a local druid--Woller, formerly a human, returned as a half-elf and took the name "The Returned One", and the middle-aged Maril returned as a young human.
11.19.2005
on dorks and blogs and d&d
Well, I must say that this is my first EVER post on a blog of any kind. And truthfully, I feel more like a dork for blogging than I do for playing D&D. I've made fun of boogers, err, bloggers, for quite some time.
And now i are one.
And now i are one.
Chapter 1: Kae's Keep
Eight bold travelers with a willingness to find adventure came North to Kae's Keep, a military outpost on the edge of civilization. After spending a couple of days exploring the small town they were sent on a mission by the Corporal of the Watch, a gruff man named Wigan, to search out and destroy a small band of ogres. The adventurers dispatched three ogres with ease. On the return journey they were ambushed by three large hunter spiders which proved to be no problem. Wigan was surprised but pleased by the adventurers progress and rewarded them with 20 gp each. The next day Wigan told them about a band of lizardmen which had, according to Wigan, been causing trouble with the human settlement. Offered a sizable bounty for each lizardman killed, the adventurers found and mercilessly destroyed (in a close fight) all of the lizardfolk, including the defenseless women and young, and the lizardfolk's pet, a monitor lizard. They then returned to Kae's Keep slightly richer than before and with some experience under their belts.
11.18.2005
Chapter I – from the Book of Strength
Currid was born a gentleman. However, he had no wealth in land and was the son of a steward to a Dragon Lord. As a young man, Currid fell in love with the Dragon Lords daughters, Shasta, for her amazing beauty. He proposed marriage to her, but she rejected him on the basis that he is far below her in status. After making an oath at the temple of Kord to win the heart of the fair maiden, Currid decided to go out and make a name for himself through bravery and strength, in order that Shasta would accept him as a husband.
So began the adventures of Currid, as he armed himself and headed for vast world in search of opportunities to test his strength and bring honor the name of Kord. Currid soon encountered the maiden Dorinda who had been falsely imprisoned as part of a foul plot. Currid fought the three men who had lied in order to pace her in prison, and he killed two of them. The other one fled, and was struck down by Kord as a coward. However, while sailing away, Currid's ship encountered and was attacked by the ship own by the King of Knives, the mastermind behind the plot against Dorinda. Currid singlehandedly cut a path through his enemies, and they eventually gave up and retreated. Currid next visited Skalandar, where he entered a tournament of jousting and martial prowess. He bested all his competitors and as a reward for winning was promised the hand of Princess Sveetru. Currid remained true to his love for Shasta and gave up the opportunity to marry Sveetru, instead requesting she donate the amount of her dowery to the building of a shrine to Kord. Currid returned to his homeland with the riches that had been the remainder of his prize from the tournament. He once again proposed to Shasta, but she turned him down again. She was not overly impressed by the deeds that he had thus far performed, and said that she could not marry him until he carried out even greater feats of heroism.
In Dunsmore far from the city of his home, a dragon was terrorizing the countryside and killing any man who tried to stop it. This dragon was twelve feet high and twenty-nine feet long, and was destroying everything it saw. Currid heard reports of the beast, and went to try his luck. After a fierce battle he emerged victorious, the monster dead at his feet. The King of the Land was so thankful that he knighted Currid. Currid then traveled across the vast sea, to join the battle against a vast horde of orcs, and in doing so convinced the entire city to observer Kord as the cities patron god. Some time later upon his way back home, Currid and his servants were walking through the woods and he came upon sixteen ruffians assaulting a Lord and Lady. The ruffians did not stand a chance. Currid left the bound Lord and Lady in the care of his entourage and chased after the fleeing bandits, getting lost in the woods as a result. Continuing through the woods, Currid happened upon a battle between a lion and a griffon. He decided to watch the fight and aid whichever creature was losing. The lion was getting the worst of it and appeared to be almost finished. Currid stepped in and defeated the griffon. After the fight was over, the lion became his constant companion as a show of thanks. Together the lion and Currid managed after many adventures to escape the woods and return to Currids home. At the gates of the city the lion thanked Currid and left him to go his own way.
After all these acts of heroism, he returned home to Shasta. When he went to ask for her hand in marriage again he discovered that the Lord and Lady who had been set upon by the bandits in the forest were the Dragon Lord and his wife, thus Shasta finally agreed to marry him. In celebration of their marriage the Dragon Lord built a giant stadium dedicated to Kord, which still stands in the Capitol today.
So began the adventures of Currid, as he armed himself and headed for vast world in search of opportunities to test his strength and bring honor the name of Kord. Currid soon encountered the maiden Dorinda who had been falsely imprisoned as part of a foul plot. Currid fought the three men who had lied in order to pace her in prison, and he killed two of them. The other one fled, and was struck down by Kord as a coward. However, while sailing away, Currid's ship encountered and was attacked by the ship own by the King of Knives, the mastermind behind the plot against Dorinda. Currid singlehandedly cut a path through his enemies, and they eventually gave up and retreated. Currid next visited Skalandar, where he entered a tournament of jousting and martial prowess. He bested all his competitors and as a reward for winning was promised the hand of Princess Sveetru. Currid remained true to his love for Shasta and gave up the opportunity to marry Sveetru, instead requesting she donate the amount of her dowery to the building of a shrine to Kord. Currid returned to his homeland with the riches that had been the remainder of his prize from the tournament. He once again proposed to Shasta, but she turned him down again. She was not overly impressed by the deeds that he had thus far performed, and said that she could not marry him until he carried out even greater feats of heroism.
In Dunsmore far from the city of his home, a dragon was terrorizing the countryside and killing any man who tried to stop it. This dragon was twelve feet high and twenty-nine feet long, and was destroying everything it saw. Currid heard reports of the beast, and went to try his luck. After a fierce battle he emerged victorious, the monster dead at his feet. The King of the Land was so thankful that he knighted Currid. Currid then traveled across the vast sea, to join the battle against a vast horde of orcs, and in doing so convinced the entire city to observer Kord as the cities patron god. Some time later upon his way back home, Currid and his servants were walking through the woods and he came upon sixteen ruffians assaulting a Lord and Lady. The ruffians did not stand a chance. Currid left the bound Lord and Lady in the care of his entourage and chased after the fleeing bandits, getting lost in the woods as a result. Continuing through the woods, Currid happened upon a battle between a lion and a griffon. He decided to watch the fight and aid whichever creature was losing. The lion was getting the worst of it and appeared to be almost finished. Currid stepped in and defeated the griffon. After the fight was over, the lion became his constant companion as a show of thanks. Together the lion and Currid managed after many adventures to escape the woods and return to Currids home. At the gates of the city the lion thanked Currid and left him to go his own way.
After all these acts of heroism, he returned home to Shasta. When he went to ask for her hand in marriage again he discovered that the Lord and Lady who had been set upon by the bandits in the forest were the Dragon Lord and his wife, thus Shasta finally agreed to marry him. In celebration of their marriage the Dragon Lord built a giant stadium dedicated to Kord, which still stands in the Capitol today.
11.17.2005
Convert or Die!!
Behold O ye waywerd folks!! Kord is seeking you! Convert and reap the rewards! Infidels, turn now or forever regret not doing the right thing. Kord is strong, and might is the way to victory. Together we can overcome any foe with mighty deeds of strength and valor!
This month I shall be reading inspirational storys of Kord from the book Kord and the Book of Strength while we travel. In the evenings short devotionals will be held using the Big Book of Kord's Chance, free beer, and a few dice, feel free to convert at anytime and join us.
-Rankin
These are not the droids you're looking for.
Sorry to anyone who posted here before today because, due to unavoidable circumstances, those very comments were the ones deleted by the administrator of this blog. It wasn't my fault. It wasn't even me. It was someone else. Move along, now. Return to your business.
It's official: we're dorks
Yep.
Every other Saturday me and seven other guys sit around in Geoff's house pretending we're elves and dwarves living in a world full of magic and wonder. There is no cool way to talk about being a person that enjoys Dungeons and Dragons, and who cares, anyway? While everyone else is sitting and home with their significant other watching the latest summer-smash on dvd, us lucky few get to kick (imaginary) ass! This bi-weekly routine sets us apart. We sit hunched over a table for hours, rolling dice and arguing the semantics of rules, manuvering small painted miniatures, fighting over magic items and trying to stay alive: we are weekend warriors and wizards, and we couldn't be happier.
The Cast:
d-rok / "t", halfling bard
dane / kade, halfling monk
dave / stonez, half-orc barbarian
drew / maril, human cleric
geoff / dairmuid ("DER-mott"), elven ranger
jd / rankin, human cleric
payton / woller, human fighter
rick / stix, half-orc barbarian
sean / dm extraordinare
This blog is intended to record our progress, make disparging remarks about non-gamers which helps increase our self-esteems, provide a place for the players to gloat about killing all my monsters, and giving me a place where to gloat over the corpses of the dead players as an unsuspecting-looking level 20 goblin monk dances over their graves.To sum up: we're cool BECAUSE we game, and there is absolutly no chance that blogging about our imaginary adventures makes us dorky.
Sean, DM
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)