Common knowledge -- recent history of hommlet

HISTORY AS THE LOCALS KNOW IT

Twenty-five years ago, the forces of evil and darkness gathered north and east of Hommlet and constructed a huge temple. This was a bastion for their armies of gnolls, bugbears, ogres, trolls, and giants - not to mention the evil human masters of the place and the demons and other foul creatures that served them. From this awful place, the malevolent denizens unleashed earthquakes, storms, fires, and floods upon the countryside. Monsters were drawn to the area like steel to a lodestone. The Temple of Elemental Evil took three years to complete, but even in that short time, the forces of good knew that they could not abide such a place. The lands of Furyondy and Veluna rallied their forces and sacked the temple twenty-two years ago at the Battle of Emridy Meadows. Most of the evil forces were destroyed or driven off. The temple itself was greatly damaged, but the underground levels were extensive and dangerous even for the most heroic folk. So, the Temple of Elemental Evil was sealed with great magic, imprisoning a powerful demon within its confines.

Nine years later, bandits began troubling the area around Hommlet. Evil humanoids and strangely garbed priests were seen on the road. Within the following year, it becaome clear that the Temple of Elemental Evil was rising again. This time, the folk of Hommlet and the surrounding area coordinated and fostered attacks by bands of adventurers against the ruined but still-occupied Temple. The evil was once again overthrown, and the temple's dangerous lower levels were caved in. Since then, the territory has prospered in peace, and common wisdom has it that no more adventures may be had in Hommlet.

Geynor Ton's journal

Excerpts from the Journal of Geynor Ton
***
I do not claim to understand fully the workings of the Fane and the Masters of All-Consumption. Their alliance with these foul brutes surprises me. We are favored! Who are these thugs to tell us what to do? No matter. Soon we'll leave this accursed backwater and I will not be cooped up in this mill with the accursed wretches.
***
Annihilation, Hommlet! I do not like it here. The food that Chatrilon brought from the inn was good, however. Venison, cured nicely. What is that seasoning? Perhaps when we have slain all these yokels, I can discover the secrets of its preparation. Exalted will I be on that day! Praise to the Eye!
***
Just as the Doomdreamers proclaimed, the Obelisk is here, under a pool in a cave. We found that the pool was a shaft with a false bottom, sealed for many years. Once breached, the pool drained into a cave rife with the power of the Revered Master of Masters. O great day!
***
Apparently the water from the stream above was diverted into the shaft to fill the pool and hide the cave from unworthy eyes. Truly the Master inspired such a wondrous plan, although it was surely carried out after the advent of the Interregnum. My Lord of Lords, once you are free, I pledge that all shall be made right, and your tormentors shall meet their cruel, cruel fate. Blessed Destruction! Praise to the Eye!
***
I marvel at the skill of our enlightened predecessors who constructed the Obelisk to honor you , O Lord! Those must have been heady days in which to live. Under the wise guidance of Master Thaque, we shall soon have the relics of our lost heritage. Praise to the Eye!
***
Alas! Ignoble beast! What fate has befallen us? It must be a test sent to us from Beyond - we must now endure without Master Thaque, may his soul rest in the cold embrace of dissolution now and forevermore! Oh wicked, cruel fate - I seek not my end in the maw of some worm of the earth!
***
Gungash is dead. I hated him. He stole my lunch two days ago, an excellent boiled egg and some delicious spicebread, may his soul roil in torment!
***
We are trapped. Festrath cannot convince the craven gnolls to attack the dragon - not after what happened two days ago. The dragon laughs at us. A grand joke, beast, but one that you'll pay for with your very soul! Now Festrath hides with the Obelisk and the Thing from Beyond. We continue our work here, but soon we shall run out of food. Perhaps we shall live as the ghouls do. Or perhaps gnoll flesh can be flavored in some way so as to make it palatable. What was that blasted seasoning, O Unmaker?

- end of journal -

Updating

Lots has happened to our brave heroes since last we revisted their exploits...

The brave adventerers left Kae's Keep (aka Keep on the Borderland) under orders from Mathias, Castellian of the Keep, to find out more about the bandits several days journey to the east. Ivan, the mysterious wizard/cleric with a morbid preoccupation for death, discovered that Mathias' son, Stern, had turned his back on his father and joined the bandit's employ. Ivan tried to confront Mathias on the issue, but Mathias refused to talk about it, surprised and shocked that this stranger should know so much about his secret family history, and shamed to face the reality of his son's dishonor.

The adventerers headed down the road, but were attacked by a hungry wyvern. Dispatching it with relative ease, they began plotting on finding the wyvern's lair--when Finkus the Copper Dragon entered the scene. Finkus mislead the adventerers by telling them there was a cave several miles away which housed a fearsome foe. Despite any empherical evidence that they should take the mischevious dragon at his word, they foolheartedly took his advice, while Finkus hungerily devoured the wyvern's poisionous tail. The brave travellers were in for a surprise when they tracked down the lair to find it occupied by an annoyed Dire Bear. Ginna rushed to attack the beast (lacking common sense) and the fight was forced to take place on a steep ledge. After a fierce battle, the bear lay dead, but so did Kade the halfling monk, and Stix the half-orc barbarian. The PC's decided to go find the druid and reincarnate Stix, who, oddly enough, was reincarnated as a full-blooded orc. Kade, however, was laid to rest.

Picking up the bandit's scent, the PC's again left to accomplish their task, and after several days of tromping through the woods were ambused by several bandits. They handily dispatched them, but left a scrappy young woman--going by the name of Wedge--alive. She pointed out Stern's corpse when asked about it by Ivan. She agreed, after the PC's agreed to keep her alive and let her go if she cooperated, to lead them to the bandit's hide-out.

Meanwhile, Stonez the half-orc barbarian (brother of Stix), a human psion named Showbo, and T the halfling bard left Kae's Keep to catch up with the heroes. (Stonez had been incarcerated, but released by order of the Keep's Castellian so that he could deliver a letter to Ivan, who had last been seen leaving town with the other adventerers.) Along the way they too were ambushed by bandits and T was killed, but Showbo and Stonez caught the trail of the PC's. Stonez gave the letter to Ivan. It was a letter pleading Ivan's help in rescuing his son Stern, asking him to make sure Stern doesn't get killed. The letter had come eight hours too late.

The PC's are led by Wedge to the "secret entrance" to the moat house to meet the leader of the bandits, only to discover that a cadre of medusa's were in charge. A short battle followed that ended with eight statues.

Eleven years passed. The PC's were next aware of an old wizard by the name of Spunoir freeing them from their stoney prison. He led them back to his home in Hommlet and introduced them to key NPC's. The PC's then tried to enjoy themselves. The next day they found Spunoir missing, so went to investigate the moathouse. Learning of a blue dragon guarding the front door, they checked out the secret medusa lair and found a secret door leading to the underground chambers below the moat house.

Maybe I'm not such a smart Pirate.

Well, in case you all are wondering, I meant to add this little bit in that last post. I guess in being a pirate I got a bit carried away and didn't leave the link to the page that tells you your priate name. They don't call me Mad Roger Kidd for nothing you know.

My pirate name is:

Mad Roger Kidd

Every pirate is a little bit crazy. You, though, are more than just a little bit. Even though you're not always the traditional swaggering gallant, your steadiness and planning make you a fine, reliable pirate. Arr!

Get your own pirate name from fidius.org.

Who wants to be a pirate!?! Meeeee.

Weekend Warriors and Wizards

If you want to be a pirate then you should go here. Not that anyone reads this thing. But, if you do, you should tell me your pirate name next time you see me, Mad Roger Kidd that is.

Anyway, get ye back ta swabbin that thar deck matie.

And seriously, do something.

Today's Order of the Stick

Rich Burlew's Order of the Stick: http://www.giantitp.com/cgi-bin/GiantITP/ootscript?SK=253

This one is very funny. Harry Potter jokes and what have you.

Chapter 2: A Dragon's Penance

Turns out the lizardfolk ruthlessly slain by the brave adventurers were close personal friends of a young copper dragon. Demanding the adventurers account for their actions, Finkus (the name the dragon gave as his own) challenges them to solve riddles, provide a lunch of large scorpion stingers, repay the bounty they earned for "taking care of the lizardfolk problem", and finally killing the true culprit, a rock-tottin hill giant. Woller the Bastard and Maril the cleric both fell during the fight with the giant, but were reincarnated by a local druid--Woller, formerly a human, returned as a half-elf and took the name "The Returned One", and the middle-aged Maril returned as a young human.

on dorks and blogs and d&d

Well, I must say that this is my first EVER post on a blog of any kind. And truthfully, I feel more like a dork for blogging than I do for playing D&D. I've made fun of boogers, err, bloggers, for quite some time.

And now i are one.

Chapter 1: Kae's Keep

Eight bold travelers with a willingness to find adventure came North to Kae's Keep, a military outpost on the edge of civilization. After spending a couple of days exploring the small town they were sent on a mission by the Corporal of the Watch, a gruff man named Wigan, to search out and destroy a small band of ogres. The adventurers dispatched three ogres with ease. On the return journey they were ambushed by three large hunter spiders which proved to be no problem. Wigan was surprised but pleased by the adventurers progress and rewarded them with 20 gp each. The next day Wigan told them about a band of lizardmen which had, according to Wigan, been causing trouble with the human settlement. Offered a sizable bounty for each lizardman killed, the adventurers found and mercilessly destroyed (in a close fight) all of the lizardfolk, including the defenseless women and young, and the lizardfolk's pet, a monitor lizard. They then returned to Kae's Keep slightly richer than before and with some experience under their belts.

Chapter I – from the Book of Strength

Currid was born a gentleman. However, he had no wealth in land and was the son of a steward to a Dragon Lord. As a young man, Currid fell in love with the Dragon Lords daughters, Shasta, for her amazing beauty. He proposed marriage to her, but she rejected him on the basis that he is far below her in status. After making an oath at the temple of Kord to win the heart of the fair maiden, Currid decided to go out and make a name for himself through bravery and strength, in order that Shasta would accept him as a husband.
So began the adventures of Currid, as he armed himself and headed for vast world in search of opportunities to test his strength and bring honor the name of Kord. Currid soon encountered the maiden Dorinda who had been falsely imprisoned as part of a foul plot. Currid fought the three men who had lied in order to pace her in prison, and he killed two of them. The other one fled, and was struck down by Kord as a coward. However, while sailing away, Currid's ship encountered and was attacked by the ship own by the King of Knives, the mastermind behind the plot against Dorinda. Currid singlehandedly cut a path through his enemies, and they eventually gave up and retreated. Currid next visited Skalandar, where he entered a tournament of jousting and martial prowess. He bested all his competitors and as a reward for winning was promised the hand of Princess Sveetru. Currid remained true to his love for Shasta and gave up the opportunity to marry Sveetru, instead requesting she donate the amount of her dowery to the building of a shrine to Kord. Currid returned to his homeland with the riches that had been the remainder of his prize from the tournament. He once again proposed to Shasta, but she turned him down again. She was not overly impressed by the deeds that he had thus far performed, and said that she could not marry him until he carried out even greater feats of heroism.
In Dunsmore far from the city of his home, a dragon was terrorizing the countryside and killing any man who tried to stop it. This dragon was twelve feet high and twenty-nine feet long, and was destroying everything it saw. Currid heard reports of the beast, and went to try his luck. After a fierce battle he emerged victorious, the monster dead at his feet. The King of the Land was so thankful that he knighted Currid. Currid then traveled across the vast sea, to join the battle against a vast horde of orcs, and in doing so convinced the entire city to observer Kord as the cities patron god. Some time later upon his way back home, Currid and his servants were walking through the woods and he came upon sixteen ruffians assaulting a Lord and Lady. The ruffians did not stand a chance. Currid left the bound Lord and Lady in the care of his entourage and chased after the fleeing bandits, getting lost in the woods as a result. Continuing through the woods, Currid happened upon a battle between a lion and a griffon. He decided to watch the fight and aid whichever creature was losing. The lion was getting the worst of it and appeared to be almost finished. Currid stepped in and defeated the griffon. After the fight was over, the lion became his constant companion as a show of thanks. Together the lion and Currid managed after many adventures to escape the woods and return to Currids home. At the gates of the city the lion thanked Currid and left him to go his own way.
After all these acts of heroism, he returned home to Shasta. When he went to ask for her hand in marriage again he discovered that the Lord and Lady who had been set upon by the bandits in the forest were the Dragon Lord and his wife, thus Shasta finally agreed to marry him. In celebration of their marriage the Dragon Lord built a giant stadium dedicated to Kord, which still stands in the Capitol today.

i wonder if the D.M. will let me buy unholy earmuffs so i dont have to hear about the god damned book of KORD every fourty-three seconds??!!??!!??!!

Convert or Die!!

Behold O ye waywerd folks!! Kord is seeking you! Convert and reap the rewards! Infidels, turn now or forever regret not doing the right thing. Kord is strong, and might is the way to victory. Together we can overcome any foe with mighty deeds of strength and valor!

This month I shall be reading inspirational storys of Kord from the book Kord and the Book of Strength while we travel. In the evenings short devotionals will be held using the Big Book of Kord's Chance, free beer, and a few dice, feel free to convert at anytime and join us.

-Rankin

These are not the droids you're looking for.

Sorry to anyone who posted here before today because, due to unavoidable circumstances, those very comments were the ones deleted by the administrator of this blog. It wasn't my fault. It wasn't even me. It was someone else. Move along, now. Return to your business.

It's official: we're dorks

Yep.

Every other Saturday me and seven other guys sit around in Geoff's house pretending we're elves and dwarves living in a world full of magic and wonder. There is no cool way to talk about being a person that enjoys Dungeons and Dragons, and who cares, anyway? While everyone else is sitting and home with their significant other watching the latest summer-smash on dvd, us lucky few get to kick (imaginary) ass! This bi-weekly routine sets us apart. We sit hunched over a table for hours, rolling dice and arguing the semantics of rules, manuvering small painted miniatures, fighting over magic items and trying to stay alive: we are weekend warriors and wizards, and we couldn't be happier.

The Cast:

d-rok / "t", halfling bard

dane / kade, halfling monk

dave / stonez, half-orc barbarian

drew / maril, human cleric

geoff / dairmuid ("DER-mott"), elven ranger

jd / rankin, human cleric

payton / woller, human fighter

rick / stix, half-orc barbarian

sean / dm extraordinare

This blog is intended to record our progress, make disparging remarks about non-gamers which helps increase our self-esteems, provide a place for the players to gloat about killing all my monsters, and giving me a place where to gloat over the corpses of the dead players as an unsuspecting-looking level 20 goblin monk dances over their graves.To sum up: we're cool BECAUSE we game, and there is absolutly no chance that blogging about our imaginary adventures makes us dorky.

Sean, DM